


Haunted times

by SansThePacifist



Series: Naruto Stories [6]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Au where kakashi can see ghosts, Depression, Fluff, Gen, Ghosts, Hatake Kakashi-centric, Implied Suicidal Actions, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Soo, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal actions, Supernatural Elements, and the ghosts of people he knew, au haunted, currently trying to get rid of writers block by finishing the shit load of oneshots in my docs, i guess?, mainly bc i couldnt think of a way to end it, poor kakashi, there is a bit of Boruto stuff at the end, today were a visited once again by kakashi's guilt complex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 13:10:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14694888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SansThePacifist/pseuds/SansThePacifist
Summary: Ghosts weren’t cold. They didn’t feel like mist. Instead they felt like a vague pressure, something one couldn’t name. The pressure wasn’t enough to keep them from being walked through or have objects slip through their fingers, though. People spoke to him like he was an idiot when he said he felt like he was watched constantly, so he decided to ignore it.





	Haunted times

The ghosts were something he liked to ignore. He was just insane, they weren’t real. They would never be. Sukomo would gently lead him, give tips even though he thought Kakashi couldn’t hear him. Soon enough, Rin came along and his heart kept breaking. One ghost was enough, he was a kid, but two was too much. He cried and she would wipe his tears away, whisper to him softly that she was sorry and that everything would be okay. He would stare in a mirror, a hand covering Obito’s eye, with his mask down and wince each time he saw his face.

 

Kakashi nodded to himself, brushing a finger across the scar on his eye. “I wonder why Obito isn’t here..” Kakashi dropped his hand finally, pulling his hita-ate over the sharingan. “Maybe he finally hates me.” Rin didn’t say anything, but her eyes betrayed her emotions.

 

Ghosts weren’t cold. They didn’t feel like mist. Instead they felt like a vague pressure, something one couldn’t name. The pressure wasn’t enough to keep them from being walked through or have objects slip through their fingers, though. People spoke to him like he was an idiot when he said he felt like he was watched constantly, so he decided to ignore it. He paused, Rin hesitating behind him, at the sight of a strange mask in a bush. He stared at it before looking down at the flowers he had. His shoulders dropped and he walked to a secluded grave. His father’s breath hitched.

He glanced to the side, staring at his father before looking back to the grave and speaking. “I know I haven’t visited you since the- since the funeral, and I’m sorry for that. It’s just that it.. It hurt to know you should have been there to give me advice, to pick me up when I graduated.. You should have been there to congratulate me and teach me the ways of the world, but.” He took a shuddering breath, closing his eyes to stabilize his chakra. “But I can’t always blame you for everything that goes wrong.” He couldn’t. “And so, I forgive you. I forgave you long ago,” He brushed his fingers across the engraved name, “Dad.” He set the flowers down, clapping his hands in prayer and giving a moment of silence, dropping his hands before smiling wryly. “I’m sorry I was such an ungrateful son.”

Next up was Rin and Obito. He got a singular, yet larger, bouquet for the two of them. “Hi,” He said softly, eyeing the carved names. “I brought flowers for you two.” He shifted a bit nervously, setting the flowers in front of the memorial stone. “Minato-sensei is Hokage now.” He waited for something, for Obito to come out and laugh wildly, _something_. Instead he was met with the sad smile of Rin’s. “I’m sorry for messing up so badly.” His breath hitched and he clapped his hands, giving a moment of silence, before whispering a quick goodbye and running back to his house.

 

When he finally got home, he curled up in his bed. His breathing as too fast and his mask suffocating. He pulled it down, placing his head between his knees in a futile attempt of breathing better. In reality, he wasn’t ready to see the anger Obito would undoubtedly wield towards him. “You failed,” His mind hissed dangerously, “You killed Rin.” When he finally calmed enough, he slid up his mask, drying his eyes quickly, and threw on his ANBU uniform.

 

His ghosts were gone and it threw him for a loop. Rin wasn’t there to gently coax him out of hysteria and his father wasn’t there to give him opinions and tactics. Instead, he was alone. Just like that, everything held inside of him emptied, his room was destroyed, his eyes burned, his cheeks were sore, his heart, his chest, oh how it ached. It was a cold, cold feeling that he was all too familiar with, even as he screamed heart broken sobs and tugged at his own skin.

 

Kakashi sat on his bed, eyes closed. Sometimes, if he closes his eyes long enough, he feels fingers brushing through his hair and the bed shifting as if someone were there. Then he’d turn around and there’d be nothing. Who did he think it was anyways?

And sometimes, there would be a warmth in the bed. He would shift, sometimes, looking up to see a masked man with a sleepy eye, before nuzzling into the man, whoever he may be. In truth, he would be too tired to really care about the details, wrapping his arms around his chest and tangling their legs together. He would smell the man accidently, wondering what exactly it reminded him of. Trees? Cut grass with a dash of cinnamon, he would muse, a familiar scent that he just couldn’t place a finger upon. He often found himself nuzzled into the crook of the man’s neck, whispering an apology for the thousandth time.

Sometimes, he wonders who the mask man is while he fights for sleep. He stares at the ceiling, knowing the nights wasn’t going to be a good one, and wonders. His scent was familiar, his chakra, his presence.. Everything. Maybe it was just another part of his imagination.

 

Rin gave him a blinding smile and he blinked.

 

The next thing he remembered was being in ANBU. He killed ruthlessly as soon as the mask was set, and watched body after body fall. It was his job and it felt like he was _made_ for it. Yet as soon as he took it off the world crashed, the nightmares would come back, and his ghost would look at him with disappointment. Oh god _what has he done wrong, he’s just doing his job, isn’t that okay? Stop looking at him like that, stop-_

Then he’d breathe. The world would still be too heavy and light, but he wouldn’t mind as much.

 

He was still a teen when Minato and Kushina died and he could see them. Minato was much more faded that Kushina, but they were still there and trying. He could see them trying to guide Naruto, he could see them crying and hear them screaming in anger, and he didn’t know what to do. So he whispered to graves and Rin was gone. Did she go to watch the child instead?

Rin came back with a sheepish Minato and his world crashed (she probably told them that he could see them, oh god, he wasn’t prepared for that at all) then made a loud wounded noise.

Because wow, Rin, what the _fuck_?

 

He dreamt of Obito that night. He had scars, they were terrible, marred and controlling, yet so fitting. Obito smiled at him and said he forgave, but still wished Rin were around. When Kakashi cried, the boy teared up and hugged him close, “ _Who’s the crybaby now?_ ” And he cried even more. It was nice, his mind supplied, to be in his slightly loose and hesitant embrace. He knew it was a dream, but as long as he were sleeping, he’d let himself enjoy the lightness of it all.

~~Still, when he woke up, he was sobbing and Rin smiled at him in hesitance and led him back to sleep.~~

 

“I break everything I touch,” He cried to a grave. “I’m an omen, each time I care about someone they die.” Then he sat in silence. The tears from the sky wouldn’t stop and Rin was looking too horrified to say anything. Instead, he listened to the world and let himself vanish. Maybe it would be better if he, himself, died for once.

 

~~Chidori aimed for his chest and a disappointment.~~

 

The next time he was spoken to, he replied with another mask that he built up over months. Sarcastic, joking, a pervert. Though, he would admit, the stories were something amusing if anything, and underneath the underneath was someone crying to be held and forgiven. Instead he laughed at a comment and they thought he was healing. ~~He was just breaking even more.~~

 

He was a Jounin-sensei. He was a _Jounin-sensei_ . One second he was still hiding behind his dog mask, the next he was being taken off and sent to at least try and get some gennin. Well, to Rin’s absolute _horror_ , he would give them a bit of a fight because, it seemed, they were going to have to try for it. He was sure Obito would be laughing at the thought of Kakashi as a _teacher_ , of all things.

 

He supposed something in him finally registered he was over his father somewhat, because he was gone. No trace of him at all, there hadn’t been for a few years by the time Kakashi finally admitted to himself he missed him. ~~He failed another team, and to his surprise they thanked him later.~~

Naruto was graduating, Kakashi was getting another genin team. Perhaps, if he were able to get a decent team, he would be able to see the kid again. Rin gave him a curious glance, but he ignored her in favor of looking at his book. He rose his brows at a certain few sentences, snorting. He didn’t know humans could move like that. And, to his surprise, he was told of his teams and given a folder or two. Oh my god. He had Naruto and Sasuke on his team. Oh, he was going to die.

 

They fought with each other, Sasuke was an egotistical idiot, Naruto was just an idiot, and Sakura had no devotion. He was right, he was going to die. Secondly, they passed. He had a genin team. Rin was laughing and he felt like crawling into a ditch and dying. “It’s.. _Definitely_ team seven..” What did he expect?

 

And then he was Hokage and he had another ghost trailing after him. Rin and Obito had a lot of talks, smiling and happy while Kakashi would tune them out. He remembered Obito making a huge fuss- it was more like him laughing his ass off- about _Kakashi_ , of all people, being Hokage at first, but eventually he seemed to have calmed down. Accepting. Ah, it was still weird to expect goggles and blue clothes and instead se a… Tall, scarred man.

 

~~He would still wake up suddenly, jolting the desk and piles of papers on it, and hyperventilate. ‘Stupid nightmares,’ He would cough, he head in his hands and eye glazed over. There was still so much blood on his hands, it clung to him, and he resisted the urge to wash it all off. Stupid nightmares, stupid trauma..~~

  
  


He handed the hat down to Naruto and watched as made Konaha a better place. He smiled. “Your son has grown up well, don’t you think, sensei?” And the ghosts near him laughed. He turned around and met their eyes, watching the obvious surprise from Obito before huffing, eyes sliding back to the Seventh Hokage before softening. “You must be proud.”

  
  
  
  


 

* * *

 

  
  
  


He took off his mask and Hita-ate, taking out his disguise before smiling. Obito made a loud noise, clearly not expecting his mask to be down before _“Hot damn, it’s just a mole._ ” He chortled, shaking his head before grabbing contacts and putting them in.

“Well I did say it was just a face,” Nothing special about it.

  
  


He placed a camera in the young blonde’s face, smiling, “Hey, you’re a student here, aren’t you?”

“Hey! Who are you, old man?”

“Old man? That’s harsh. I’m Sukea, a freelance reporter.”


End file.
